Home: A Nurturing Center

Home is an ideal environment for people to grow and learn and become what God wants them to be. For a home to be a nurturing center, it first has to be a dwelling place where real people live real lives. It cannot be a group of strangers sharing food and facilities to "recharge" and then go back into the world to "really live life." A prerequisite to nurture is intimacy and real living. Communicating. Sharing. Celebrating! Working together. Playing together. Only as you really know others can you nurture them.

Nurture takes place in the context of relationship! Nurture is more than passing on information, it implies giving nourishment, sustaining life and imparting wisdom. We want our homes to nurture people physically, intellectually, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. There are four ways to do this:

• Being a source of nurture yourself.
• Filling your home with things that will nurture.
• Creating a nurturing environment.
• Removing things that damage or destroy (prevent nurture).

Physical Nurture

Sleep!

• Comfortable Beds
• Regular Schedules
• Quiet During Sleeping Hours

Food!

• Healthy (Lots of whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies, and pure water)
• Wide variety
• Attractively served
• Mealtime schedules
• Positive conversations at mealtimes
• Special treats! (Making people's favorite foods!)

Exercise!

• Model good habits
• Daily aerobic and stretching
• Active fun as a family (hide-n-seek, playground, sports, walks, bike riding, washing car, etc.

Fresh Air!

• Ventilate house
• Time outside everyday
• Avoid pollution and cigarette smoke (if possible)

Emotional/Relational Nurture

Acceptance!

• Communicate acceptance by:
• Listening attentively
• Speaking positively about household members to others
• Saying "I'm glad you're you and you're part of my life!"

Affection!

• Hugs!
• Kisses!
• Cuddling!
• Snuggling in bed together!
• Back rubs (and foot rubs and head rubs)!
• Walking arm in arm or hand in hand!

Appreciation!

• Always look for character traits to appreciate, behavior to reward, and things others do to thank them for. Most people feel that no one notices what they do. Be a notice-er!
• Use words ("thank you for doing that so cheerfully," "your artwork is beautiful," or "I'm so glad we live together."
• Write notes
• Give small gifts

Loveliness!

• Cultivate an appreciation for beauty, excellence, good music, fine art, proper etiquette, truth, softness, sweetness, and goodness.
• Fill your home with loveliness.
• Notice and appreciate loveliness, kindness, and noble deeds.
• Point out loveliness to others.
• Be quick to affirm efforts made by others to create beauty.
• Appreciate the artwork (people, nature) and character of the Lord Jesus.

Friendship!

• Friendship enriches all relationships: our walk with Jesus, marriage, working relationships, family ties, and room-mates. We miss out on so much in our culture because there are so few intergenerational friendships. We can learn so much from those older and younger, as well as those in different life situations.
• Friends like each other! They spend time together, encourage each other, and enjoy getting to know each other. Friends have fun together! Let your home be a place of close friendships.
• Build friendships with household members.
• Model healthy friendships.
• Build friendships family to family or household to household.
• Oversee children's friendships (cultivate good ones).

Kindness!

• Small acts of kindness are the sweetness of life. We are drawn to those who are kind to us. Unfortunately, often we can treat those outside our home with more kindness than those inside. Be gentle and kind. Require gentleness and kindness from your children. Appreciate all acts of kindness you observe in your home!

Godly Communication!

• Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? (Three gates to pass all your words through).
• Learn to listen attentively and draw out their hearts.
• Avoid gossip and slander of any kind.
• Always believe the best.
• Ask gentle questions rather than accuse.

Handle Conflict Biblically!

• (Gal. 6:1 & James 5:19)
• Remove plank in your own eye (Luke 6:37-42; Gal.6:1-5; Eph.4:2,3)
• Pray! (Eph. 6:10-18; Phil.1:3-11)
• Look for underlying problem or need (Phil.2:3,4; I Thes.5:14; I Tim.5:9,10)
• Confront lovingly asking questions, not accusing (first alone, then if needed with a brother or sister, then if needed with the church) II Tim.2:24,25 & 4:2; Matt.18:15-17; Luke 17:3
• Forgive (Col.3:13; Eph.4:29-32; Luke 17:1-4; Mark 11:25)
• Restore and reaffirm your love (II Cor.2:6-11; James 5:16; I Peter 4:8)

Do NOT allow in your children:

• Bad attitudes
• Bickering, arguing
• Yelling, screaming, losing temper
• Disobedience (or delayed obedience)
• Laziness
• Sarcasm, cut-downs
• Complaining

Family Night!

• Special Dinner
• Family activity for all to enjoy
• Time to encourage and affirm one another
• Relax, laugh, joke around
• Make up skits, songs, commercials, poems

Intellectual Nurture

Books!

• Good books have high literary quality and high moral excellence
• Let children see you read!
• Have children read aloud.
• Supply age appropriate, quality books in accessible places.
• Fill home with good books---classics, poetry, biographies, inspirational, historical fiction, etc.
• Remove all degrading reading material.
• Family read aloud time everyday.
• Discuss good books.
• Have children read aloud to you.

Conversation!

• Raise the standard!
• Discuss good books, politics, history, ideas, God, the Bible.
• Avoid gossip, criticism and drive.
• Ask questions.
• Listen to everyone's thoughts and ideas.
• Analyze news stories and historical events.
• Discuss application of Biblical principles.

Music!

• Listen to good music and discuss why you like it.
• Read biographies of famous musicians, then listen to their works.
• Go to concerts.
• Learn to play an instrument.
• Sing together.
• Play music together, rehearse and record.

Art!

• Have prints/reproductions of famous paintings if possible.
• Discuss paintings and other works of art.
• Go to art museums.
• Look at art books.
• Provide art supplies: paints, clay, brushes, paper, scissors, glue, colored pencils, ink, etc.
• Learn to draw!
• Create art during family nights.

Other!

• Limit T.V.
• Maps, globes.
• Computer games.
• Board games (teach math!).
• Educational games.
• Take apart old T.V.s, VCRs, etc.

Spiritual Nurture

Bible!

• Read each day ALOUD!
• Write down Bible verses on index cards, decorate and put in a prominent place.
• Type up Scripture verses and/or passages on computer.
• Listen to Praise tapes that have Scripture verses or psalms set to music.
• Listen to Bible tapes.
• Read Bible to children with extra expressions, etc.
• Stash Bibles around the house--read when you can!
• Get away once a month for three hours to read the Bible and pray.
• Sing old hymns (they have lots of Scriptural content), psalms and praise songs.
• Focus on one verse or passage each week or each month.
• Read aloud.
• Memorize part (kids too!)
• Write it down and decorate.
• Explain the verse to the children.
• Ponder the words, their meaning, and application.
• Start reading a passage. Ask the Holy Spirit to stop you at the verse He wants to teach you about. When He stops you, use the verse to examine your heart and behavior. Pray for God's help to apply the verse to your life.

Prayer!

• Pray every morning before you get out of bed and every night before you go to sleep. "Good morning, Lord...." ".....Good night, Lord, I love you!"
• Pray aloud and walk around during quiet time if you get sleepy or distracted.
• Pray quick prayers for people or situations when they come to mind.
• Train yourself to stop and pray aloud when...
• you (or children) lose something.
• you get lost.
• you pass an accident.
• child gets hurt.
• you begin to get angry or impatient.
• Pray in the Spirit throughout the day!
• Begin prayer by asking God to fill your heart with faith and guide your prayers.
• Pray with a prayer partner once a week.
• Journal prayers and highlight when God answers.
• Make a praise poster of answered prayer.
• Pray prayers from the Bible. Personalize for self, others, church, nation, etc.
• Ephesians 1:15-23
• Philippians 1:9-11
• Colossians 1:9-14
• I Thessalonians 1:11-12
• II Thessalonians 1:11-12 & 2:16-17
• Philemon 4-7
• John 17
• Matthew 6:9-13
• Nehemiah 1:5-11
• Ezra 9:6-15
• I Chronicles 17:16-27
• I Chronicles 29:10-19
• II Chronicles 6:12-42
• Pray Scripture for self, others, church, nation, circumstances, etc.

Praise and Worship!

• Play praise and worship tapes in house.
• Listen to praise and worship tapes in the car.
• Read a psalm and sing songs to God in Quiet Times.
• Start Quiet time with thanksgiving (counting your blessings, thanking God for answered prayers, thanking God for circumstances, etc.).
• Worship together as a family.
• Make up your own worship songs.
• Sing old hymns.
• Make up new music for old hymns.

Family Devotions!

• Keep it simple, relaxed and short enough to maintain interest.
• Use devotional books or just read a passage aloud and discuss.
• Everyone choose one thing to pray for.
• Use illustrations, puppets, role-playing, flannelgraph boards, etc. if desired.
• Sing worship songs.

Discussions!

• Talk about Jesus and His Word all the time!
• "What does the Bible say about this issue?"
• "What is Jesus teaching/speaking to you?"

Fellowship!

• Encourage one another!
• Remind others of God's promises.
• Ask "What is God teaching you?"
• Commend growth.

Evangelism!

• Everyone learn to share the Gospel clearly and concisely.
• Role play sharing the Gospel and personal testimonies.
• Build relationships with non-Christians.
• Ask God for ideas to communicate His love to unbelievers.

Heroes!

• Be a godly heroine!
• Commend godliness in others.
• Introduce household members to godly men and women worthy of imitating.

Transparency!

• Be open and honest.
• Share what God is teaching you.
• Repent when needed and ask for forgiveness.
• Be real.
• It's OK to say "I don't know" and "I blew it."

©2006 Meredith Curtis All rights reserved.