Home:
Home is an ideal environment for people to grow and learn and become what God wants them to be. For a home to be a nurturing center, it first has to be a dwelling place where real people live real lives. It cannot be a group of strangers sharing food and facilities to "recharge" and then go back into the world to "really live life." A prerequisite to nurture is intimacy and real living. Communicating. Sharing. Celebrating! Working together. Playing together. Only as you really know others can you nurture them.
Nurture takes place in the context of relationship! Nurture is more than passing on information, it implies giving nourishment, sustaining life and imparting wisdom. We want our homes to nurture people physically, intellectually, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. There are four ways to do this:
- Being a source of nurture yourself.
- Filling your home with things that will nurture.
- Creating a nurturing environment.
- Removing things that damage or destroy (prevent nurture).
Physical Nurture
Sleep!
- Comfortable Beds
- Regular Schedules
- Quiet During Sleeping Hours
Food!
- Healthy (Lots of whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies, and pure water)
- Wide variety
- Attractively served
- Mealtime schedules
- Positive conversations at mealtimes
- Special treats! (Making people's favorite foods!)
Exercise!
- Model good habits
- Daily aerobic and stretching
- Active fun as a family (hide-n-seek, playground, sports, walks, bike riding, washing car, etc.
Fresh Air!
- Ventilate house
- Time outside everyday
- Avoid pollution and cigarette smoke (if possible)
Emotional/Relational Nurture
Acceptance!
- Communicate acceptance by:
- Listening attentively
- Speaking positively about household members to others
- Saying "I'm glad you're you and you're part of my life!"
Affection!
- Hugs!
- Kisses!
- Cuddling!
- Snuggling in bed together!
- Back rubs (and foot rubs and head rubs)!
- Walking arm in arm or hand in hand!
Appreciation!
- Always look for character traits to appreciate, behavior to reward, and things others do to thank them for. Most people feel that no one notices what they do. Be a notice-er!
- Use words ("thank you for doing that so cheerfully," "your artwork is beautiful," or "I'm so glad we live together."
- Write notes
- Give small gifts
Loveliness!
- Cultivate an appreciation for beauty, excellence, good music, fine art, proper etiquette, truth, softness, sweetness, and goodness.
- Fill your home with loveliness.
- Notice and appreciate loveliness, kindness, and noble deeds.
- Point out loveliness to others.
- Be quick to affirm efforts made by others to create beauty.
- Appreciate the artwork (people, nature) and character of the Lord Jesus.
Friendship!
- Friendship enriches all relationships: our walk with Jesus, marriage, working relationships, family ties, and room-mates. We miss out on so much in our culture because there are so few intergenerational friendships. We can learn so much from those older and younger, as well as those in different life situations.
- Friends like each other! They spend time together, encourage each other, and enjoy getting to know each other. Friends have fun together! Let your home be a place of close friendships.
- Build friendships with household members.
- Model healthy friendships.
- Build friendships family to family or household to household.
- Oversee children's friendships (cultivate good ones).
Kindness!
- Small acts of kindness are the sweetness of life. We are drawn to those who are kind to us. Unfortunately, often we can treat those outside our home with more kindness than those inside. Be gentle and kind. Require gentleness and kindness from your children. Appreciate all acts of kindness you observe in your home!
Godly Communication!
- Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? (Three gates to pass all your words through).
- Learn to listen attentively and draw out their hearts.
- Avoid gossip and slander of any kind.
- Always believe the best.
- Ask gentle questions rather than accuse.
Handle Conflict Biblically!
- (Gal. 6:1 & James 5:19)
- Remove plank in your own eye (Luke 6:37-42; Gal.6:1-5; Eph.4:2,3)
- Pray! (Eph. 6:10-18; Phil.1:3-11)
- Look for underlying problem or need (Phil.2:3,4; I Thes.5:14; I Tim.5:9,10)
- Confront lovingly asking questions, not accusing (first alone, then if needed with a brother or sister, then if needed with the church) II Tim.2:24,25 & 4:2; Matt.18:15-17; Luke 17:3
- Forgive (Col.3:13; Eph.4:29-32; Luke 17:1-4; Mark 11:25)
- Restore and reaffirm your love (II Cor.2:6-11; James 5:16; I Peter 4:8)
Do NOT allow in your children:
- Bad attitudes
- Bickering, arguing
- Yelling, screaming, losing temper
- Disobedience (or delayed obedience)
- Laziness
- Sarcasm, cut-downs
- Complaining
Family Night!
- Special Dinner
- Family activity for all to enjoy
- Time to encourage and affirm one another
- Relax, laugh, joke around
- Make up skits, songs, commercials, poems